ED held my life hostage for 12 years before I finally made the choice to fight back. He told me I was worthless to keep me from realizing my strength and power, to keep me under his thumb. I fell for his lies until it became apparent to me that the choice between ED and life was mutually exclusive — I could only have one.
I chose life on January 9th, 2019 when I entered Carolina House, a residential treatment center in Durham, NC. After 5 grueling months and step downs to PHP and IOP (and then PHP and IOP again), I discharged and returned to Boulder, CO to finish my BA at Naropa University and pursue the life I had always dreamed of.
Outpatient care is no joke, and the struggle since discharge has been real. But as each month passes, I look back and can see the progress I’ve made and the life that I am building, and it makes it all worth it.
ED silenced my voice for over a decade, and this site is a vindictive fuck you to him for doing so. As 2020 rolls in and my first Recovaversary approaches, I feel called to share and cultivate my voice as I progress through this journey, not only to help heal myself but others as well.
When I was sick and alone and consumed by ED, I needed to hear that others had gotten out. That there was hope and that recovery was attainable and that maybe, just maybe, life didn’t have to be this way. My hope is that maybe, if even for only one person, this can be that voice that pulls you into that light.
There is more to existence than just survival. You deserve to live.
the future is bright
Meagan is a 26 year old perpetual student residing in Boulder, CO. She is currently pursuing her BA in Psychology and Art, focusing on Eating Disorders in both.
She hopes to pursue her PhD in Eating Disorder research in order to restructure current treatment modalities to improve their effectiveness, increase rates of long term recovery, and decrease relapse rates and re-admittance to treatment centers.
She pursues expression of her voice through writing and art making. She is an avid reader, an animal lover, and is passionate about helping others.